Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
