is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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