I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
