About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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