ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
