Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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