your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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