it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
