i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
