Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
