Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
