id be glad to
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
