Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
