I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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