My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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