if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
