So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
