do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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