My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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