That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
