can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
