i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
