u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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