I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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