I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i now understand why vodka
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
