we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I accidentally burped into my bong.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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