We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
