Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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