I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you guys were way drunker than both of me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
