I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
