"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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