She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
