I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
