airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
