Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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