I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
