I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
