You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
