I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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