Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
