i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This house was built for laser tag.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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