walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm bleeding and have questions
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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