in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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