why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
