Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
