Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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