Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
birth control should be required to get into college
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
