i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
