If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
