OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
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