Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
