Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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