He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
