i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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